Change
by miko-miya
Summary: Erza is a worried bean. Lucy is remembering her suffocating loneliness. They help each other and together they begin to heal. Erlu. Don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

Erza's POV

"So, how's your day going, seventh?"

I look over my shoulder at Lucy and smile. Levy, whom I was going over duties of guild masters and paperwork with, seems to read the atmosphere and excuses herself.

"I'll just... go help Lisanna hand out drinks." she says and leaves.

Everyone is taking a quick break from building the guild hall. We were making very good progress and besides the one fight I had stopped, everyone was now getting along and catching up.

"Hello Lucy. Shouldn't you be refreshing and replenishing your strength like everyone else?" I say as I sit back down and turn to the papers. There sure is a lot of work to do. Lucy steps to the table I'm working on and sits on it. I look up at her and she smirks.

"Is that an order or a question?" The corners of my mouth quirk up.

"For anyone else it would've been an order but you've seemed to make a habit of not listening to me recently." I say and begin writing.

"Well seems now I'll have to, Master." I don't look up but I can practically feel her radiant smile.

"Congratulations Erza." she says and I finally raise my head. Her expression is sincere and happy but as I scan her face I notice something else. Worry.

I sigh. She always did know just how to read me.

"What's up?" she asks, partnering the question with an adorable head tilt. Damn it.

I don't say anything right away. I just look at her, deciding what issue I should address first. Finally, I begin.

"I'm not sure I'm as cut out for this position as everyone else thinks." I say quietly.

Lucy nods and I take it as a means to continue.

"Makarov was one of the ten wizard saints. He was never afraid and always knew how to handle a situation. And..."

I hesitate.

Should I reveal it? To her? Before I can chicken out, Lucy puts a hand on my shoulder. I look at her and she softly smiles at me with warm eyes. My heart swells and I continue.

"When I came to Fairy Tail he was the first person to show me true kindness. He didn't pity me or pry for my past or question why I did things. He just accepted me and gave me a home. Ever since, he's always been someone I felt I could go to in times of trouble and... and he's our father. Everyone in the guild loves him so much and... and... he became our light that we looked to. I... I have no idea how to be that." I finish and close my eyes. It's out there now. And though I am terrified of the response I do feel a bit of the weight on my shoulders being lifted off.

Nothing happens for a while. Lucy doesn't move or say anything and neither do I. We can hear the other members laughing and sharing stories of the past year with each other.

I feel a hand against my cheek and Lucy moves my face so that I am looking straight at her but I don't open my eyes. I can't stand to see judgment or pity in those warm, beautiful chocolate brown eyes that I've come to lo-

"Erza." she says firmly. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter.

"Erza, look at me please." And I open my eyes and when I do, I immediately have to fight back the tears that build. Lucy is looking at me not with judgment nor pity but with understanding and kindness. She smiles at me and I just stare at her.

She hugs me. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls my face to her shoulder buries her face into my neck. I wrap my arms around her waist and squeeze tightly. Her hair smells like vanilla and her body is warm and it can't be too comfortable to hug me while I'm wearing my armor but she just holds me tighter.

I feel a drop of wetness on my neck and I panic. Why is she crying? Did I do something? Should I let her go?

But then she says something that makes my whole world stop and focus on the celestial mage in my arms.

"You're my light."

I relax and can almost feel the worry and stress slip out of my body. It feels like that statement gave me the ability to take down armies.

We stay in each other's embrace for a while. Not too long though. Not long enough.

When she lets go of me, she gives me the brightest smile and my heart skips a few beats. I smile back.

"Thank you." I say and somehow her smile gets even bigger.

"Anytime Erza." she says sincerely before she gets a mysterious glint in her eye. "Although... only on one condition."

I chuckle.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I get the first dib on the best job when the guild gets work started again." she replies.

"Deal." I say and hold out my hand to shake which she does.

I look at her grinning at me and a pang of guilt shoots through my heart. My smile falters and I try to hide it but of course she notices.

"What is it?" she asks and all of a sudden her smile is gone and she looks worried and I almost scream because I want nothing more than for her to be happy.

The guilt is a constant pain now and I'm about to blurt it out.

"Lucy, I-"

"Erza! Natsu's starting a fight again!" Levy runs to us and I let go of Lucy and take a step back. Lucy takes a step away from the desk she was leaning on and stares at me.

I ignore her gaze and instead focus on the blunette who is switching her gaze from me to Lucy and back. I sigh and go to teach those fools a lesson but Lucy grabs my arm to stop me.

"Erza, wait!" she exclaims and I turn my head to look at her. Her brows are furrowed and I can see the hurt in confusion in her eyes as I retreat back into myself.

"We'll talk later." I say and gently remove my arm from her grip.

I tell myself that I don't notice the way her shoulders slump or how her hand moves up to clench itself in a fist over her heart or how it doesn't feel as though with every step I take away from her, I feel as though I am stepping farther away from who I want to be.

I tell myself this but deep down in my heart I know,

I am lying.


	2. Chapter 2

Lucy's POV

I walk in through my door and yawn. It sure was quite the day. Between working hard to get the guild rebuilt, I spent so much time socializing with everyone and catching up. It was great to see everyone but they are a very exhausting group. I feel like I'm about to pass out now. I'm just about to go to my comfortable bed for a nap when I run my hand through my hair.

I shudder at the feeling of sweat and dirt in it. 'Ew.' I decided that I should shower first.

After preparing my towels and soaps I strip and then also decide to burn the clothes after my shower. Seriously, how could I've sweat that much?!

I turn the water on to very very hot and step in. I sigh in contentment, feeling my sore muscles relax under the pressure. Steam fills the room and I massage shampoo and conditioner through my hair.

As I start to wash my body, my mind starts to drift to the events of this morning. It all started out normal, everyone working then Natsu starting a fight then everyone joining in and then Erza stopping everyone.

...And then Erza being named the seventh guild master!

I smile at the thought. Erza's going to be amazing as our master, I just know it. I know that she doesn't realize how much we all depend on her so maybe that'll help her see. And then maybe she won't do as many stupid things that put her life in danger.

I start to think about our conversation. After the tower of heaven incident, Erza and I started talking more and I encouraged her to open up to me. It took a really long time but she did and then we got really close. After that, Erza would come over to my home for dinner quite often and then sometimes stay the night, mostly just when we had a job with the team the next day.

I don't know when it was that I fell in love with Erza Scarlet but I remember the moment I realized.

It was during the time when we were training for the GMG and Crime Sorciere showed up. I remember feeling sick when I found out that Erza was spending time alone with Jellal. It wasn't jealousy it was more like... defeat.

Then that night... Erza came to my bed. She didn't say anything she just climbed in. When I made to move over a bit to give her her own side of the bed she grabbed my arms and put them around her and then, in the most broken voice I'd ever heard, she asked me to hold her. So I did. She cried for hours that night and with each sob, I felt my heart clench painfully. After she fell asleep, I made a promise to her. A promise that I would protect her. She got distant after that day until the night at the GMG when she had another nightmare. Those days were some of the hardest of my life.

I realized then that was falling in love with her.

I never told her. Nothing really changed after that except that Erza seemed less afraid to show emotion around me in public than before. Hugs were often exchanged often and she did get more cuddly when we were alone, usually at my apartment. I think I was pretty good at hiding it. I still enjoyed those moments. A lot.

And then Tartarus happened. I lost a family member. Erza had old wound reopened and then given new ones. We won but we fell apart. The loss overweighed the victory.

The guild disbanded. Fairy Tail was gone. We still had the remnant of the mark placed on our bodies but I'm not sure if it helped or made the ache worse. I thought that I'd be okay because even if the guild was gone, nothing could break up our family ties, right?

Natsu and Happy left first. They left nothing but a note. No goodbye at all. It hurt.

Erza gave me a goodbye. Kind of.

She didn't tell me she was leaving but she came over and stayed the night before she left. We talked about how we were doing. We shed some tears. We held each other and ate chocolate and cake. I fell asleep first, in Erza's arms. I woke up to her smiling down at me. She looked so beautiful that day. We got up and she gave me a long hug and left. Didn't look back.

The pain was unbearable. I fell. Hard. I thought that I'd have someone to lean on but everyone had gone and I was left alone.

I couldn't blame them. I understood their need to get stronger and find answers. I felt it too. So I picked up my pieces. I moved on. I started working. Modeling. Then journalling. I threw myself into it, Barely ever taking a day off. I tried to distract myself. but, at the end of the day, I would come home with any information on any guild member that I would find and catalog it. I was always holding onto hope that Fairy Tail would reunite and I would have my family back.

Now I do.

I think that I should feel happier. I mean, everything I've dreamed of for the past year is a reality now!

Well.. not everything. But I'll take what I can get and right now, I'm really happy with what I have. Life is finally starting to seem like it'll work out.

I step out of the shower and quickly towel-dry my hair. I then cover my body with a towel and walk out of the bathroom into my room, humming to myself. I walk to my dresser and grab a pair of pajamas. I place them on top of the dresser and raise my hands to remove my towel.

A throat clears behind me. "L-Lucy?"

I turn around and shriek.

Erza sits on my bed staring at me with wide eyes, her face matching the colour of her hair.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I scream, filled with embarrassment. At least I still have my towel on.

"I- uh- I mean- uhm- you-" Erza stutters, still not looking away. I'm about to yell at her when I notice where she is staring. I blush. Suddenly I am very aware of how short the towel around my body is.

"Uhm... Erza?" I mutter. She looks up and meets my gaze and I swallow hard at the way her pupils are dilated. She blushes harder at being caught and immediately tries to stand up but gets her feet caught in the sheets

"Oh! I'm- I'll just go- uh- sorr- KYA!" she faceplants onto the floor.

'Cute' I think before shaking my head.

Erza bolts upright and continues her stammering all the way out of the room. I hear her slump outside against the door once she shuts it and I chuckle thinking of the look that is probably on her face. I stand against my dresser, just breathing for a minute. I remember the way my heart sped up when she looked at me with that lustful look in her eye and my mind races.

What did that mean? Does she like me? I mean she does like girls, it could just be a basic sexual attraction.

I decide to not overthink it and got dressed. I take a deep breath and walk over to the door. When I open it, I look down and see Erza sitting on the floor facing away from me, deep in thought.

I clear my throat and Erza visibly jumps. I snicker. Erza hops up and turns to me. She isn't wearing her armor I notice which is quite unusual for her lately.

"L-Lucy! I am so sorry! I should've knocked first."

"It's fine Erza, water under the bridge." I smile but she doesn't return it. Her expression is completely serious and I sober immediately.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

"We need to talk." she says.

"Okayyy what kind of talk? Should I get some cake or hot chocolate? I think actually have some cheesecake that I should really finish. Or I can make popco-"

I'm cut off by Erza grabbing my waist and pulling me flush against her body. The blush returns to my face and I stare u into her eyes as she stares at mine.

"Erza" I whisper as she darts her gaze down my face then back up to my eyes. I flush even more as I realize what she looked at. My eyes are wide and I see the moment that she begins to lean her head in and then I see the moment when fear floods into her eyes.

She pulls away.


	3. Chapter 3

Erza's POV

I pull myself away from Lucy. I can't do this. I can't believe I almost did. I let go of her completely and turn around, walking towards through the living room towards the front door.

"I'm sorry Lucy. I'll leave you alone." I murmur and I make it halfway through the room, wallowing in self-pity and embarrassment the entire time when my arm is grabbed and I am spun around and pulled back.

My eyes widen at the feel of Lucy's lips on mine.

I tense up and my mind blanks for a second before I melt into the kiss and wrap my arms tightly around Lucy's waist pulling her flush against my body. Her hands make their way into my hair and the whole world around me has stopped. Every single fiber of my being focuses on one thing, the gorgeous celestial mage in my arms, the way her lips are moving against mine and the fireworks going off in my head.

I feel something wet against my cheek and for a second I think I am crying but it registers in my mind that it's not me crying. Lucy pulls away before I can react and extracts her entire body from mine. I go to follow her, desperate to have her in my arms again but she does something that leaves me speechless.

Lucy slaps me.

My head whips to the side, mostly out of shock as there wasn't much force behind the blow, and my hand immediately flies up to the sting. I turn my head to look at Lucy and she looks just as surprised as I am.

We stand there in silence staring at each other for a moment. Then, Lucy glares at me. I gasp in and am about to start rambling out apologies (for what, I have no idea) when she takes the two steps between us and grabs me by my collar, pulling me close to her face again.

For a second I think she's going to kiss me again but my hopes fall when she drops her head to my chest and I feel small sobs start to wrack her body.

"Never leave me alone again." she says and my heart cracks at the weakness in her voice. She sounds broken. Her legs buckle and we fall to the floor on our knees with her face still sobbing into my chest.

"Lucy? What do you mean?" I ask gently. I remember saying that I would leave her alone before we kissed but I have no idea why that would cause such an outburst. Lucy takes a deep breath and tries to find her voice and I pet her head, trying to calm her down. She raises her head and I take a sharp intake of breath at the chocolate brown eyes filled with sorrow that stare into my own with tears tracking down her cheeks. I open my mouth to ask but she stops me.

"No wait, Erza. I need to get this off of me. Please." she whispers and I just nod.

She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath in and then looks at me.

"I was left alone for a year."

I flinched but didn't say anything.

"When I found out that Fairy Tail had disbanded, I lost a part of my soul. I thought that I had already lost one family member and now I was losing all of them. But then I thought that, even though the guild had gone, I would still be able to be with my family. Our team would stay together. We were team Natsu. We had faced way worse than this and we would pull through. Then Natsu and Happy left. Then Gray. And then Wendy. And even after I had lost practically everyone, I still thought that I could hold on because of one thing."

I braced myself.

"Because I still had you, Erza. Because you hadn't left me yet and you were the only one and because I.. I was in love with you."

It felt like a train had hit me head on. I felt the tears start to form and I try to fight them off because I want to be strong. But I also want to tell Lucy that she was never alone and that I was the one in love with her and that I was sorry but I couldn't. I had told her I would listen and so I will.

She continues and I know I won't be able to fight the tears.

"And then you left. You fucking left me alone and I had no one. All I had were the memories that kept on playing in my head whether I was awake or not about when we would go to that cafe and have cake and tea or our popcorn movie nights or the walks that we sometimes took really late at night or when we would just hold each other because one of us had a bad dream or trouble sleeping. And then I had the thoughts of you hurt somewhere. Of you bleeding out alone and dying and I would never get to tell you how I felt about you and I had no idea where you were or if you were okay."

She was screaming at this point. The tears had long since started falling down my cheeks but they were nothing compared to the ones pouring like waterfalls down her cheeks.

"I lost everything." she screams at me. Her chest is moving up and down as she is breathing heavily and crying at the same time but then, the sobs stop.

"I felt so alone." she whispers.

"And after weeks of mourning and crying and trying to pick up my broken pieces, I stood up. I told myself I would move on and that I would be stronger.

...

I told myself I couldn't love you anymore." she said and I could feel my heart stop. She looks at me with eyes that still shed tears but ones that are silent which makes it so much worse. She doesn't say anything for a while and I don't think I could speak even if I tried.

"I thought that I was doing the right thing. You had hurt me so much and I thought that if you could just leave me like that then you would never feel the same way as I do. But..."

I perk up.

"You're back now. And no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise..." she pauses and I stare at her as if my entire world is going to be decided by what she says next. It actually kind of is.

"I'm still head over heels in love with you, Erza Scarlet."

I stare at her in silence. I wonder how I ever got so lucky as to even have someone like Lucy simply in my life much less have her in love with me and I thank every single god that there is that she still loves me even after everything I put her through. I've lost myself in my thought and didn't even realize that a decent amount of time has gone by with me just staring at her.

"Say something, please." Lucy says and I finally snap out of my daze. She's so uncertain and she's blushing and she's so cute and my feelings overwhelm me so I simply grab her by the shoulders and pull her into a kiss. I feel her relax into it and I almost break into a huge grin.

We part and she rests her forehead against mine with her eyes still closed but I want her to be looking at me for this so I bring one of my hands to her own and she opens her eyes, looking into my own.

"I am hopelessly in love with you, Lucy Heartfilia." I say.

Tears build up in her eyes again but I don't worry because she's wearing a bright smile and has so much love in her eyes that I think I might just pass out. We hug each other and I can feel an intense weight of stress, worry and fear being lifted off of my shoulders.

Lucy chuckles and I pull us apart to look at her.

"What?" I ask.

"It's just... sorry for hitting you earlier. I honestly have no idea why I did that." she says, although mumbling the last part.

"It was understandable. You were angry and you have every right to be. After everything I put you through..." I say and my smile falls as I think about how alone she was.

She shakes her head and I look at her in confusion.

No. I mean, yeah I was upset but I don't think I was ever really angry at you. More at the fact that we had to be put through events that lead you to leave. I- I'm really sorry about blowing up at you." she says and looks at me with worried eyes.

I stare at her again because how can such a forgiving and caring person exist?!

"I think we're both really sorry." I say and she smiles at me.

"I am." I express it again and she looks confused.

"What?" she says.

"I am sorry." I say and she opens her mouth to retort but I stop her.

"Even if you say you aren't mad at me, I still left you and I will forever regret that. I will just have to find a way to gain your forgiveness." I finish and flash a large smile at her.

She chuckles and shakes her head before giving me a large smile and wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling herself towards me. I like where this is going.

"You already have." she says and our lips meet again, the fireworks going off just as they had before and I smile into the kiss, thinking about the future.

And as the sun sets and the light kisses turn more passionate, I feel that finally, after almost a year of a heavy heart and longing, I am home.


End file.
